My mom told me to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
Amanda Bynes is a lush blond who has quickly become a blond lush.
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.
Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.
One of the most popular documentaries of the 2010’s was “Jiro Dreams of Sushi.”
One of the least popular documentaries was “Jiro’s Nightmare of Ass-Rape.”
A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"
What do you call a black person?
Black.
Two businessmen bought the Milwaukee Bucks for $500 million. They are very excited about their transaction, for this is the only legal way to own black people.
Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?
A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.
For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.
Q: What was the orphan's first phone?
A: The iPhone X because it had no home button.
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
Why did the kid go in the guy's van?
Answer: He thought he was being adopted.
Rape jokes aren't funny.
This is the true worst joke ever:
What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?
Hi!
Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.
Yo mama is so ugly, she scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
At 6, she wanted a happy mama.
At 8, she hated acting like a mom.
At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.
At 11, she wanted to see her mom.
