Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between Jesus and the toddler in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
Why can an orphan only get an iPhone X?
Because there is no home button.
How many babies does it take to paint the walls red?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.
Have you ever seen Helen Keller's dog?
Neither has she.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
What do you call a blind racist?
A not see.
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."
The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"
I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
I have no toes, so I put blood on my foot, and then my other foot got run over, so, ye.
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
What do you call a Hippie's Wife? A Mississippi.