Worst Jokes Ever
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
I have no toes, so I put blood on my foot, and then my other foot got run over, so, ye.
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
What do you call a Hippie's Wife? A Mississippi.
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I've got you flowers.
Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?
Doctor: They're for your grave.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, Bud!
Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?
Daughter: *tooth hurty*
Dad: All right.
What did momma seal name her twin girls?
Luceal and Sealia.
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning, and think, "Well, better luck next time."
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"
What would you name your pet rabbit?
Harry.
Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?
"Would you stop bugging me!"
What did one bee say to the other bee?
"I love you, honey!"
What did the screw say to the screw? We sure screwed things up!
What does FNAF mean? Five Nasty Ass Fools.