Worst Jokes Ever
Want to know what I do in my freetime?
Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?
Why does China have the biggest eyewear?
Because all their eyes are too small.
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.
Yo mama so stupid, she went to Dr. Pepper for a check up.
I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are he he.
We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.
Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.
What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?
Prison FC
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
Balls in your jaws.
You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)
Q: Why doesn’t Jimmy Swaggart worry about his premature ejaculation problem?
A: He believes in the second cumming.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I pray God I'm not so ugly as you.
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.