Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?
A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.
ur dad is gone
Mom! Mom! The class called me an orphan.
"Ketchup with me, you are too slow."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite beverage? Milk.
Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."
Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's dad? The clock comes back around.
Yo mama's so ugly even cartoon cat eyes got little.
Yo momma so fat, she tried to eat a pie chart.
Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods?
why can't a orphine play baseball? (because he can't find home)
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
I was about to go to sleep, but then I remembered my idol has 0 G/A, and it's mid-November. Thanks, Pessi, for ruining my sleep! 🤬
Recently I visited a restaurant in Crotone. When I was done eating, I told the waitress I was “Penaldo” with my food. She instantly knew that I was finished with my food.
Hi, I am Michael Jackson, pronouns are HEE/HEE!
What is Donald Trump's hairstyle called?
A comb-over.
Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?
Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.
What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?
The worst shits you'll ever see!
You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
