What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette?
They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
Worst Jokes Ever
How do you make an orphan clap until his hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
How do parents punish their blind kid? They move the bed.
I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
What part of a vegetable can’t you eat?
The wheelchair. 😑
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.
I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.
The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.
If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.
If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.
Remember 2000? It was scary.
Q. What’s the only good thing about child molesters?
A. They drive slow through school zones.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa.
Eating sugar?
Yes, Papa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach, and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar.
Smoking? Telling lies?
Yes, Papa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.
What did the weed say before he got on the escalator?
A project where people get lined up to be changed.
Dear doctor,
I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly, Ray Palp
Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is down, your mum's Facebook will do.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is yours, Facebook will do.
What do you call an autistic ant? An Evelyn.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They told her to go find the light.
