Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?

"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*

Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.

Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.

What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?

Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!

What's black and white, black and white, black and white?

Michael Jackson.

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"

"Africa," the parrot replied.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.