Worst Jokes Ever
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
"Fuck me right in the balls, you dirty cow!"
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple actually got picked.
I wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor. I need some parts for my laptop.
Stop being disrespectful to all those people and their parents. Oh, I forgot, they don't have any parents.
What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?
You can roast chicken.
Pass me the sugar, Sugar!
Pass me the honey, Honey!
Pass me the teabag!
"Get off your computer, Jessie Jex."
You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.
Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe, just maybe you'll find a brain back there!
What is an Emo's favorite game? Hangman!
What does the M and D in "orphan" stand for?
"Mum" and "Dad."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.