Who got shot in the head? JFK did!
At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.
Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"
Not Stephen Hawking.
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.
When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!
I'm writing a movie about 9/11. It's called "September 11th Two Thousand Fun."
it was just a prank bro.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?
You'll Never Walk Alone.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
Stephen Hawking doesn't go for a stroll. He goes for a roll.
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair ? At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
Knock knock. Who's there ? Steven. Can't you read it says No Hawking.
Did you hear about the car that turned into a wheelchair ?
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
Funny how Hawking rhymes with talking and walking and he can't do either. And first 4 letters of his Christian name spells step and he also can't do that.
Knock knock. Who's there? Beep boop S.t.e.p.h.e.n beep boop H.a.w.k.i.n.g.
I went home and I saw my friend kissing my sister. I said, "What’s going on?" They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said, "Alright."
The next morning, I see my friend kissing my mom. I said, "What’s going here?" They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me, "I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift, I’m your best friend. 2 gift, I’m your new brother-in-law. 3 gift, I’m your new stepfather." I felt so happy I had a friend that [is] looking out for me.
