Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.

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    • Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.

    I love to decorate my room because it's a great way to express your heart, though I just remembered, my room is pretty black and empty...

    When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

    True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.

    (Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)

    You're so skinny that when you're driving, you have to put the seat forward to reach the pedals. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?

    I cry peeling onions!

    I kick a soccer ball at someone in a wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.

    What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

    Neither can see their parents.

    This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."

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    • You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?

    Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"

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    • What's worse than sticking 12 raw oysters up your grandma's pussy and sucking them out?

    Sticking 12 raw oysters up there and sucking out 13.

    What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?

    Finding out it was traced.

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