Worst Jokes Ever

I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.

Why did Michael Jackson rush to H&M?

They had new Billie Jeans!

Why is Homelander an orphan's favorite superhero?

Because they can actually land a home.

I: "Get a boomerang."

Type: "Why?"

Me: "Because for frisbee, you need friends."

I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?

Why can't Chinese people play baseball? They always eat the bat.

What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."

I bet you're naked under all those clothes. Slut.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Clearly not their parents."

Roddy Rick Dalby

My friend told me to name a country in Africa.

So I said, "Hungry."

My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."

A vampire goes to the bakery.

Vampire: "One bun, please."

Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"

Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."

Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?

Answer: Insider trading.

What do you call an adopted orphan?

Wanted.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Ligma.

Ligma who?

Ligma balls.

Nice! Angry Birds really has improved.

A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.

Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.

Because it would cut itself.

What do Afghanistan people love about bombs?

They're black and go off.