"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"
"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."
Worst Jokes Ever
Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?
Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.
His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?
Returning to the scene of the crime.
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
In trouble!
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
What's a pedo's favorite snack?
Sour Patch Kids.
Why did God create yeast infections?
So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
