Worst Jokes Ever
"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."
"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."
Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"
Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."
I wasn't going to tell another rape joke but fuck it.
Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?
Because it had a Great Booty!
Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?
A. A Notsee.
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
Yo, you have the biggest Oliver brain, which means you are the dumbest boy ever.
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
Wanna make out, Explain Bear?
Speak in AAVE, Mr. Bear...
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.
I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.
The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.
Are you a blood bender? 'Cause you're making my blood go south🖤.
What did the SS say when A.H. was running out of ideas?
"You Wannsee my 'final solution'?"
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
I know Marie Antoinette jokes aren't funny, but they're nothing to lose your head over.
Jokes about Marie Antoinette aren't funny, but that's no reason to lose your head.