A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"
And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"
Never Jokes
Why do orphans never use other people's Wi-Fi?
So they can be connected.
Why does Wednesday Addams never blink?
Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.
Me: I wouldn’t want to be with a shitmate.
Shitmate: You’re so shitable.
Me: Bring banana ice cream.
Shitmate: Never happening.
Never give up, 'cause never gonna give you up.
Never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna desert you.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
Never talk about 9/11 to me. I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot ;(
Me: "WYD?"
Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."
Me: "Without me? Lol"
What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.
What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.
"Never gonna give you up."
I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.
"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."
Why do orphans have water in cereal?
Because mom was never around to produce milk.
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Dear Kenya, I am very sorry for how rude I was to you. I just want you to know that I'm on your side and I'll never do it again. - Sincerely, Gwen
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
Well I guess exoplanets never had some exoloration. 🤣🤣🤣
Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?
Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.
Farmer's Wife: Why?
Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.
You know why Ted Cruz left Texas?
Because they never take a chill pill.
I didn’t orphan never say home.
Because they didn’t have one.
