Never

Never jokes

Orphan

Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

'Cause mommy never gave them some.

Steak

Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?

Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.

Farmer's Wife: Why?

Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.

Delivery service

A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?

I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.

Crab

Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.

Hahahahahahahaha what a knee slapper!

Dad

My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.

Cat

"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me."

We never saw him again.

Orphan

Orphan: I want to be a relator.

Teacher: Why?

Orphan: Because I never had one in my childhood.

Boy

What's the different when a little boy drops in Japan then and now?

When a little boy falls today he gets back up. But then everyone fell and never came back up.

Baby

I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.

They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.

Forehead

I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)

Language

The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear.

“I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?”

“From my father,” said Johnny.

“Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.”

“I do,” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”

Crow

Once upon a time, there was a crow with a piece of cheese in its mouth. Then a fox came, and when he saw the piece of cheese, he tried to trick the crow. He said that the crow's voice was beautiful, and then he said he wanted to hear him sing, so the crow started singing, and then the piece of cheese fell out of his mouth. He said never trust anyone, and then he walked away.

Cancer

Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.