Never

Never jokes

Sister

Hi, are you even my sister?

Yes, I am.

No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.

Issue

What’s the issue with 9/11 jokes?

They never land.

Just like the planes.

Anxiety

Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.

Religion

There's only one reason our Education Minister is standing by this curriculum.

In her religion, you NEVER pull out.

Insult

The time I saw you and you asked me to be your friend.

Me: "Yeah... no. You're too ugly. Even your parents never loved you."

Kid: 😭

Chess

Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.

Orphan

You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?

'Cause then they know they won't die alone.

People

Why was the people's wedding so miserable...

'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.

Head

What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Dad

You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.

Paper

Have you heard the joke about the paper?

Never mind, it's tear-able.

Sea

I waved to you before, but you never sea me because you're so washed up.

CPR

Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.