Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.
Never Jokes
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?
Kid 2: Never leave home without it.
Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.
Mom: I made you.
Neona (😞): Are you mad at me?
Gwen (😌): Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen, let's just hug it out!
Neona (😁): Agreed!
Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!
Have you heard about kids with AIDS?
It never gets old.
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
Why couldn't the twins never do anything right?
Because they were triplets!
911 help. Hello?
Never mind, forget it. You're so stupid 😡😡😡😡😏
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
How are Black people like communism?
Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.
It takes a lot of trust for two cannibals to gluck gluck each other. You never know when it's goodbye willy.
My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"
"No."
"Have you always been honest?"
"No, never been caught!"
Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.
Why should a feminist never join the United Auto Workers, UAW?
Because the only thing that a feminist would do in the United Auto Workers, UAW is lick pussy all day in the woman's restroom.
Why can orphans never walk home?
Because there's no way to go.
What superhero will orphans never understand?
Homelander.
