Never jokes
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."
The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.
The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.
The third lady says, "I never had a husband."
The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."
They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.
The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."
"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"
There once was a Mexican named Quan. He never talked about Dose. What happened to Dose?
Quan and Treis raped him. Once Quattro came out, they killed him. They were too poor to afford food, so they ended up eating Dose and Quattro.
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
Never joke about 9/11, they'll just crash and burn.
I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.
What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.
Why can't an orphan go on away games?
Their parent will never show up!
Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long." Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you'll never get it."
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
"Have you ever heard of the snail that never gives charity?"
"Yeah, he is so shellfish!"
I’ve never had Indonesian food. Huh...
Neither have they.(:
Why do pedophiles never cum first?
Because they like to cum in a little behind.
I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken.
Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the koala.
Q: Why did the tree fall over? A: The koala never let go.
Q: Why did the kangaroo die? A: Because the koala landed on it.
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I never knew them.
Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.