Why does Stephen Hawking always say he's got got so many bitches Because he is never around siri
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.
[Chorus 2x]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus]
And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.
A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.
Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"
Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight? A: They get their shit packed the night before.
Dead baby jokes never get old...
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion? A: Because it will eat your "Aunts"
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
never trust a Justin, he is mad up of atom that makes up everything
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
Who's never the last man standing---Steven hawking
Whats the best part of been a Pedophile? You will never have a wife
What is always moving but we never see it walk? TIME HAHAHAHAHA
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
because thay don't have any rights
Why did the girl never go upstairs ? Because she had no legs .
The sky never changes colour but when it does we know how your breath is increasing
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey? Because proper tea is theft.
Why does Jesus never vacation on earth?, because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick and their still talking about it
