Never Jokes

Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."

The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.

The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.

The third lady says, "I never had a husband."

The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."

They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.

The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."

"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"

There once was a Mexican named Quan. He never talked about Dose. What happened to Dose? Quan and Treis raped him. Once Quattro came out, they killed him. They were too poor to afford food so they ended up eating Dose and Quattro.

Dark Jokes R Like Pupies:

Once they come out they r trash but one it starts to get older that’s when it’s noticed but when it gets to old u either proclaim it dead or never talk about it

( I would never do dat though I love pupies )

Dark humor is like a kid withe cancer It never gets old

never joke about 911 they'll just crash and burn

I will never forget my Grandpa's last words, "What are you doing with that rope and saw"

You should never leave a man hanging.

Unless they are still alive..

My dad and cancer go into a fight never saw my dad after that

What is the difference between a Chick pea and a Garbanzo bean? I've never had a Garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.

Why Can't a Orphan go on Away games?

There parent will never show up!

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long." Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you'll never get it."

I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up

"Have You Ever Heard Of The Snail That Never Gives Charity?" "Yeah, He Is So Shellfish!"

I’ve never had Indonesian food. Huh..

Neither have they.(:

Why do pedophiles never cum first. Because they like to cum in a little behind.

i will never forget my girlfriends last words..."get off of me STOP"*slurp*...Dead

Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the koala.

Q: Why did the tree fall over? A: The koala never let go.

Q: Why did the kangaroo die? A: Because the koala landed on it.

I will always rember my dads last words...

oh wait i've never them.

Kids are like a box of chocolates they taste so good and u never know what u are going to get

A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says "What's wrong?" The woman says "I've never been hugged before." So, the man gives her a hug and walks away.

The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says "What's wrong, now?" The woman says "I've never been kissed before." So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away.

The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says "Oh, for Christ's sake! What's wrong, this time?!" The woman says "Well, I've never been fucked before." So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells "YOU'RE FUCKED!"