Me and my cancer Are like a game of fortnite I’ll never win
Orphan- I want to be a relator Teacher- Why? Orphan- Because I never had one in my childhood.
Why orphans so good at tennis Answer : because they never knew wat love was
I'll Never Forget My Grandfathers Last Words "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER YOU LITTLE CUNT!"
My dad is like a unicorn He's never here. :c
What Knight is never wrong? Sir Tain
I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again. I almost killed myself.
What did santa use as a candy cane? Wait wait I said it wrong Ok What did santa use to do his garden....never mind
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"
puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (ill never be able to do it) the mother: AI NINO ( OH CHILD ) the teen: QUE? ( WHAT?) the mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! ( DONT START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN) the teen: I CANT DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA the mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH) the teen: QUAL ( WIHCH) the mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD) the teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA ( THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE) *a phone buzzes* the teen: whose phone is that ma? unknown: MR PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE * runs to bag opens white one and sticks hand in* the teen : HAIR GELL
Your dad never needed a van for you.
I've never seen my dad since September 11, I wonder where he is....
What the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ? One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldnt work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and saviour Jesus Christ. (Ben Shapiro 2020)
There's an orphan in my class... For some reason, he never leaves.
Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism Teacher: What? Boy: Well... Never mind, he's well supported
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness. Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!"
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”
I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me. That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?
What to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it’s to chesesy
I have a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. It's a shame they never work
