What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?
The letter M.
Never Jokes
Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got to see either of them, and they are now extinct.
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
One day a skeleton never worked. Everyone called him lazybones.
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.
My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.
We never met again.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Never mind, it’s too long.
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.
He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.
When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.
It happened too fast, he watched the very last.
Next he died, eaten all fried.
American: I've never shot a gun.
African: That's the first coming from an American!
You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.
Guess Stephen Hawking never had use for sweatcoin😂
The fact that "Hawkins" rhymes with "walking" and "talking," yet he could never do any of them.
Looks like he never charged up fully.
Never invest in funerals. It's a dying industry.
Riddle: I don't move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. What am I?
Answer: A stamp.
Stephen Hawking never wrote a book... it was a Dragon who was naturally speaking.
Wanna hear a joke about corn?
Never mind, it's too corny.
