You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Never mind, it’s too long.
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.
He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.
When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.
It happened too fast, he watched the very last.
Next he died, eaten all fried.
American: I've never shot a gun.
African: That's the first coming from an American!
You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.
Guess Stephen Hawking never had use for sweatcoin😂
The fact that "Hawkins" rhymes with "walking" and "talking," yet he could never do any of them.
Looks like he never charged up fully.
Never invest in funerals. It's a dying industry.
Riddle: I don't move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. What am I?
Answer: A stamp.
Stephen Hawking never wrote a book... it was a Dragon who was naturally speaking.
Wanna hear a joke about corn?
Never mind, it's too corny.
What did one brick say to the other? Never LEGO.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.
This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar.
An hour or so goes by, then the new flame says, "I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice, food is great, but what's up with the monkey way down there?"
His friend says "OK, watch this." He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool, pulls down his zipper, and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin, cleaned himself, pulled up his zipper, then jumped back to his chair.
He walked back to his new gay friend and said, "What do you think of that?"
"MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that!" His squeeze said, "Wanna give it a try?"
"I sure do, JUST DON'T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey."
What pool never runs dry?
The one on the Titanic.
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
50 Thumbs up for 10 jokes you ́ve never seen!
You never told me you were part orangutan. Have you considered taking a vacation to Planet of the Apes?
