People are like bean burritos. You can eat them EVERY DAY, but you'll never run out.
In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!
I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
Do you think the ocean is salty because the beach never waves back?
What do you call a broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless!
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
Never trust stairs, they're always up to something.
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.
I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.
Me and my cancer
Are like a game of Fortnite.
I’ll never win.
Orphan: I want to be a relator.
Teacher: Why?
Orphan: Because I never had one in my childhood.
Why orphans so good at tennis Answer : because they never knew wat love was
I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"
My dad is like a unicorn He's never here. :c
What knight is never wrong?
Sir Tain.
I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again. I almost killed myself.
What did Santa use as a candy cane?
Wait, wait, I said it wrong.
Okay.
What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"
