Neither jokes
What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common?
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Ever tried African food?
Neither have they.
Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."
Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"
Remember: Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but neither does milk or water.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?
Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.
Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?
Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.
Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."
Friend 1: I don't want to jump.
Friend 2: Me neither.
Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.
Friend 1: *jumps*
Friend 2: *jumps*
Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!
Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.
The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."
The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."
What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.