Neither jokes
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
What do Lindsay Clancy and Jane Doe have in common?
Neither could walk after what they did.
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common?
Neither of them respect boundaries.
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.
What is the difference between a banana and a helicopter? Neither of them is a police officer.
Have you heard anything about this Chuck Norris guy? Yeh, me neither.
A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?
Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have no balls, neither will you. 🔪🔪
Ever tried African food?
Neither have they.
Have you walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Oh, neither did he.
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Neither has he.
Fortnite is like America... At one time it was good and free. Now it's neither.
Do you know Helen Keller?
Yes.
Did you know she had a dog?...... Neither did she!
What do Paul Walker and I have in common? Neither of us have seen Fast and the Furious 7.
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.