Neither jokes
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. It was evolution.
My plants in my garden are like the Twin Towers; neither of them fell, just the flowers.
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
I’ve never had Indonesian food. Huh...
Neither have they.(:
Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?
A. Neither does R. Kelly.
I said, "Are you half left or half right?"
"Neither! In-between."
"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"
What's better, a woman or a man?
Neither, for I am WHITE.
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.
The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."
The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
The Fast of Ramadan
In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the leftover fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pomegranates.
For this was the sacred month of Ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the moment after sunset!
Have you ever had Ethiopian food??
Neither have they.
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.
Vote Biden or Trump, I like neither, but I want to know what the world would say. (Don't judge other people.)
Did you hear about the Chinese student?
Me neither.
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.
Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard?
Neither did she.