Need jokes

Why was the fart on Kickstarter? He just needed some gas.

What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?

A KIDNey!

What does NASA stand for?

Need a star A.S.A.P.!

I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣

What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?

You don’t need parental consent.

Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.

Guy: Do you know how to draw woman's rights?

Girl: No, how?

Guy: All you need is a blank paper and reality.

Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.

Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!

I wish I could follow you, though.

But you need an account so I could follow you, but you don't have one. :'(

Why does an orphan play mum and dad?

'Cause they need self-love.

All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.

Why did a girl like bananas?

Because one day she might need to be ready.

I need a new butt. This one has a hole in it.

Your mom's so fat, she don't need to be worldwide, she already is.

Producer: We need to stop testing out products on animals.

CEO: Shampoo companies do it all the time.

Fairchild Republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt.

Why can’t orphans go on field trips?

Because they need a parent’s signature.

Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?

Person: Yea, why?

Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)

The other day a squirrel asked me for a job. I asked him, "What jobs did you have previously?"

Calmly he answered, "I am a pilot. I can pick it up from here and pile it over there. I also can fly a sign!"

"Too bad, this is a nut cannery, and we're 100% automated. We don't need anyone at this time, sorry."

"No worries, I'm totally nuts anyway. Guess I'll fly a sign across town, don't have bus fare!"

I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."