Need jokes
Yo mama so fat, she needs two watches for each timezone.
What did the orphan say to his stepmom?
"I need help."
Why are Amoebas so bad at math?
Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
I need a hug.
*hugs train*
Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.
I guess they're whore-ible.
What do you call a fudge packer who has special needs?
A gay black male that has Down Syndrome.
My family is like treasure; you need a map and a shovel to find them.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
Yo mama so fat that she doesn't need the internet, she is worldwide.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent signature.
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
A man goes into a job interview and sits down.
The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there's a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?"
The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!"
The interviewer is impressed and says, "That's great! You're hired!"
The man smiles. "Really? I'm so glad, because I really need this Yob."
Tip for Kindness for the day.
Tip one. Always speak up for yourself.
Yes, letting someone else speak up for you is nice but also speak up for yourself, be brave if a mean bully comes along. Speak up for yourself and others if they need it. Best, Gwen
I am really gay. I just needed to confess this.