She needs a flat surface cleaner
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture.
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk Orphan:MY parents! Me: you know that word?
So my mom looked in the mirror today and we need a new one
my math teacher walked by and asked me what is that? I siad paper. she siad really? yeah do you need glasses?
Walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by him self and he looked like he needed a hand so i offered to help, he said this is not a big screen TV its a Kindle!!
a priest sees a man about to commit suicide the man says "I have nothing to live for here I will die go to heaven and get 72 virgins" then the priest says "no need for this I will take you to the local elementary school"
It's funny dating someone smarter than you, my girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be, let me explain, say for example she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
I told a blonde she needed gas for her car and she farted into the gas tank.
What is the difference between a Flat tire bicycle and a Woman, answer, You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride on it, while a woman you need to ride on her and pump.
Good afternoon. My name is Russell. And I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?
People need to stop taking life so seriously, after all, no one gets out alive!
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.
the reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
What does NASA stand for?
NEED ANOTHER SEVEN ASTONAUTS!
Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were one a falling airplane. Their were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world”, so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually their are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”
Why did the rapper go to the optometrist?
Because he needed to improve his RAP VISION
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?
Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed PROTECTION
LEO is the reason the gene pool needs a LIFEGUARD
Emergency is their doctor anywhere ? My mom has a few problems & those problems is that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.
