Need jokes
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
Why are Amoebas so bad at math?
Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.
Yo mama so fat, she needs two watches for each timezone.
What did the orphan say to his stepmom?
"I need help."
Why can’t orphans pick up their phone after school?
Because they need their parents to go pick it up.
You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'thank you' is all I need.
Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business.
Yo mama so fat, she needs 17 iPhones to take a selfie.
Titanic: ight, I need a place to CRASH tonight.
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.