Need Jokes

Why do orphans never get a car

Because their parents need to buy them one

I wish I could follow you, though. But you need an account so I could follow you. But you don't have one. :'(

What goes up and down and needs two people? A seesaw

My family is lucky I was born so smart, every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?

Because They don't need permission from their Parents

I hope Stephen hawking was an organ donor cause I need some parts for my go cart

:popular girl. Sorry iM lAtE. :teacher. Why are u late! :girl. I NeEd My BueAty SleEp :Nerd. Well u might need to hibernate because u ain’t pretty

Can watersharky and Gwen comment on this. I need to talk to u guys

Why do people poop? Because it we need to

Producer: we need to stop testing out products on animals. CEO: shapoo companies do it all the time Fairchild republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt

Why did the 18 year old girl need s ladder to go to school? Because it was High-School

You need to play a bflat not a c sharp, you just got band!!

What did one skeleton say to the other? skeleton1:"I need a hand!" skeleton2:(Throws up hand) skeleton1: "That wasn't very humerus." skeleton2: "Why do you have to be so heartless." skeleton1: "At least I had the guts to tell you"

Why did the author go to the emergency room? -- His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.

The IRS came to this mans house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money thats been coming in and out of his bank account. So the man though maybe I need to get a lawyer. So he and his lawyer get to the IRS's office and sit down and the agent said there has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account and we wanted to know if you knew anything about it. The man says yes I do, I'm a gambler. The agent says you gamble with that much money. He man says yes, I'll give you an example. Alright I bet you 5,000$ that I can bite my left eye. Agent says alright deal. The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Then the agents says that not fair. The man says I'll let you get your money back or even more, I bet you 7,500$ I can bite my right eye. He agents thinking I didn't see him come in with a guide dog or a stick so the agent says deal. The man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye. The agent then says that's not fair. The man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk and the agent says I got you, he's laughing and happy that he final beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face and the agent asked what's wrong with you and the lawyer replies the man bet me 100,000$ he could piss on your desk and you'd just love it.