Name jokes
Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!
Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.
Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.
What is the name of Hitler's WiFi?
The local Aryan network.
Roses are red, violets are blue, My name is Bucky, And I am stucky.
Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.
Student: My name is Buttitches.
Teacher: Please tell us your real name.
Student: Buttitches.
Teacher: I’m calling the police.
Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.
Student: Buttitches.
Police: *shoots gun.*
A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."
Lawrence in maths ;)
Whats up brother
Helen Keller, more like hell 'n killer.
What do you call an alligator that likes donuts? A donutator!
Why did people say a man had nothing? ... Because he was a-nonymous.
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve.
"My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104."
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
Sumona.
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
Campbell.
His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.
What do you call a person whose heart stopped?
Dead.
Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?
Sally.
Figure: Who wants to play hide and seek?
Seek and Hide: Me.
Figure: Okay, hide and I will hide and Seek will be it.
Seek: Why do I have to be it?
Figure: Because your name says so.
So you get a new job, and here's something about this guy named Mike.
The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY *clap clap clap clap*."
What do you call a questioning Constanta?
Curious George.