Mystery jokes

Riddle me this. Riddle me that.

Why did my parents never come back?

Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.

Except my depression.

What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?

Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.

The biggest legend is Technoblade.

My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"

No witnesses.

Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.

A man goes to a motel room and sees a woman tied up and she said, "Help me please!" He had to do some forceful thinking.

Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.

The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.

The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.

What am I?

A: A baby.

Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.

Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."

"Really?" asked a little girl.

"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."

Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.

Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.

Anyone know what happened?

Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.

I think I'm being stalked.

IAIAIICID

when the sus.

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.

A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?

(Getting brutally murdered.)

You call it a burning orphanage. I call it FNAF lore.

A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him.

When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

Did you know that in 2001 there was an Among Us game, except that it was on a plane and had two imposters.