A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
At night time,in Africa,it's known as the darkest country,till this day I still wonder why.
What grade does Sherlock hit on girls from?
Elementary, my dear Watson!
There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semin and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.
Now that's a hell of a ghost story.
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. "My friend isn't breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?" "Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"
A father and a son were painting pictures together. The son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T, and the son said, "What happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle. The father replied with, "You know what happened, you were there." The son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings. They're exactly the same.
The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.
What do you call a Pokémon that wants to be a police officer?
Magic-cop!
Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.
No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
You walk in to a old ran down house and you see that a light is on you walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room and you run to the exit to leave but when you get to the door somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go in to the house more and you see another room with a light on so you go in when you go In “flip” all the light go off then yo7 see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says “let the game show begin” yiu see other people next to you and they seem scared then a wall comes down yiu see a optical cores and yi7 go on and then a chainsaw comes at yiu and it misses you but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies
Part two comeing soon this is inspired by the scp foundation have a nice summer
Mom:hey hun need some money for lunch at school? son:no i got 1k already mom:Wait,what,how- son:moms wallot is magic
he scratched his face up detective that did It did I do that
Where did my rabbit go? *crunch*
Riddler: riddle me this are you scared of the big black
person: Big black what
Riddler: ...
person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean
Once there was a woman who had a husband and a dog, the husband dies. The dog would always sleep under the bed and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down and the dog would like it to say she/he was alright. One night it was thunder storming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does he/she likes her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap. But the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can like too", in the dogs blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
Why are skinny. People skinny? Because he Don't have a family to breastfeed on.
when the sus
A man and a cow walk into a McDonalds, and the man walks up to the front counter and says, “I’d like one beef burger.” The employee of McDonalds said, “Sure thing sir, also I really like to see your cow, may I bring him into the back room really quick to show my co-workers?” The man says, “Sure.” The employee takes the cow into the back room. A couple minutes later, the employee came back with his burger. The man took a bite of it, and realized his cow was gone.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A.M.
Holmes said, "Look up, Watson, what can you see?"
"Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A.M."
"What else, Watson?"
"It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What Else, Watson?"
"What am I supposed to see, Holmes?"
"Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent!"
