My jokes
Yo mama is so ugly, when I took a picture of her, my phone screen cracked.
"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"
"I think you should ask yourself that."
I'm the joke 😈😈😈 HAHHAHAAHHAHA Delilah my kitten meow meow to the woof woof.
It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.
Best thing ever right here.
So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.
My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"
I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."
Who else liked the part in Morbius when he said his catchphrase "IT'S MORBIN' TIME" and MORBED over everyone? In my theater we had a standing ovation!
Me in the middle of the night boiling water.
Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?
My brother: How?
Me: You boil the hell out of it.
Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"
Why was I angry on my plane? Because I read these stupid 9/11 jokes.
My friend: Yo stupid.
Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?
My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*
Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.
My dad and I were playing hide and seek. I still haven’t found him. It’s been 15 years.
Yo, back off from my homey Freshfry; he's mine!
During school today, a girl gave my friend her number. When I saw it, it was the principal's number.
My Dearest Friend--C'mon, RickRoll ;)
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
I will remember my brother's last words: if you can't put a fork in a toaster, how about a spoon?
Mommy kisses my butt.
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Do you want to wear my sombrero?
Or is that nacho style?