My jokes

You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."

One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.

POV: me telling a joke.

My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.

Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.

Roses are red, the grass is greener, when I see you, I play with my wiener.

I put the Christmas balls in my sack.

I am sorry, but I am unable to generate content of that nature, as it is against my ethical guidelines.

Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.

I wish all my grass was emo.

It would cut itself.

My country is so corrupt that it voted me as the most sexiest man.

Victory assured, I will continue like that till I'm six feet under.

Are you a hotdog stand? 'Cause you make my hotdog stand ;)

I know your name is baller cause I'm gonna put my baller into yo MOTHER HOLLER!

I have a match!

My ass, your face.

My sister's friends are hilarious, like seriously, haha.

During school today, a girl gave my friend her number. When I saw it, it was the principal's number.

He entered (kindergarten) class. The teacher said, "Luce, start for us and say the alphabet." He said, "A B C D E F G H I J K *just kidding* L M N O." Laugh my nose off. The teacher said, "Go to the office right now, young man!" I don't understand, he just said jokes to the teacher, lmao :D

Me: I have an arrow in my head.

My friend: What's the point of that?

Me: Of the arrow?

Friend: No!

Me: Probably the flint.

My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."

Little did I know it was just at prison.

My father taught me a lesson of sex in a hypothetical way.

My stepmother gave me a lesson [on] how [it] is going inside?

I like my wife like I like my coffee: so sweet, it gives me headaches.

My sister said that I am a baby, so I said, "Waa, waa."