My jokes
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
My classmates?
My friend said she wanted to fly, so I pushed her off a building.
I asked my friend what happened to him?
His balance shifted.
2023- my dad is a cop.
1800- my dad owns your dad.
Memes
My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.
I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:
1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.
I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.
I was falling down the stairs at my local clock tower.
I somehow broke more than 206. I broke 342!
One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.
It got too out of hand and I got spanked.
Finally my father came early from office today. I am very happy.
He was fired from his job.
I remember my grandma's last words:
"What are you doing with that axe?"
Some people decide to start a blog.
Others decide to start a blog.
You know what my sink started?
A clog.
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
My life, haha, so funny!
I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
There was an enemy with a machine gun.
My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."
So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.
Rob, you forgot to pay me for letting you sucky sucky on my thang.
AKA you're for sale.
It was too irritating to listen to her and lend her my ear to talk to.
Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"