My jokes

My bully: Your face is ugly.

Me: Yeah well your mom is so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.

My bully: :(

It's about bottling.

It's about crying.

I stay finished, I fake retire.

Put in the diving.

Put in the ghosting

And take my fake trophies.

Eibar and Bolivia in my veins.

My Barcelona banged by Bayern.

I bottle the game, so what's my farmer's name? (Pessi)

I was in the Sahara Desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, Pionel Pessi, the debut man, came to my rescue👨‍🚒. He brought in 100's of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles; "big games," he replied. Thanks for saving my life, my idol.

Your hairline jokes are so bad that they make me want to rip all my hair out.

My great great grandfather killed Hitler😌

What did the feather say to his wife?

You light my day.

At 5 years old, I already knew how to throw paper airplanes thanks to my Arabian relatives!

My mom told me to clean the sink, but I couldn’t find you.

What's a baby orphan's favorite joke?

"When am I gonna see my parents?"

Lmao.

I miss my wife, Tails.

My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.

What kind of poo should you put in your hair?

Shampoo.

Yo yo yo, I’m a dinosaur, rawr! And my Snapchat is s4r1m-007 for more amazing jokes.

"Jizzy jazz all over my ass."

Why did the dick suck my ass? They died.

My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.

Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.

Me: GUYS GUYS I CAN STOP 9/11.

My friend: How?

Justin: Justin!

Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.

Orphan: Mine are never.

I like penis in my bum!

I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.

Kile: Hey, asshole! I bet you listen to trash 50 Cent! How about you get to quarters, listen to him! My favorite rapper is the best of all! How about you go eat a cracker, you parrot nose, fuck!

Remy: I'm... y-y... YOUR DUMBER THAN ANT! I BET YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER IS A CANDY RAPPER!!