My jokes

Wanna know what an orphan's least favorite song is?

"More Than My Hometown."

For some reason, people make fun of my name because it rhymes with something that starts with an F.

What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

That’s right, I have my own category😎

Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?

My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”

I got an iPhone 14 for my brother? That was the best trade I ever made.

I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"

At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.

A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.

I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

I got my job at a bank and lost the job the day I got it. A lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her!

Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.

Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?

If you make a joke about me, I'll tell my mom.

Tell me a joke about my hairline.

No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.

My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!

My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.

One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂

I lost my job at the bank. Some lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.