My jokes

Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.

I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.

I called her the Fallen Angel.

I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.

The best part? She don't talk back.

I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.

Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.

I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.

(Male fantasy)

Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.

Raju: How about you, Sunil?

Do you know?

Sanju: Sunil is my long distance

is a brother.

Raju: Long brother?

Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.

For my girlfriend and friends to chat :)

My brother tried to hit this guy with a plane and but hit the Twin Towers.

I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!

My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.

I hung something else instead.

If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.

Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."

Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."

Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."

Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."

Daveon is my blud, cuh.

Pulled pork? Yeah, I cranked my hog today, too.

I turned gay because my wife is too poor.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your laughter's melody, Makes my world anew.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your eyes' reflection, My dreams come true.

I watched a movie with a lot of ketchup on the ground.

I don't know why my friends look disgusted.

I am Asian.

I am so Asian my pronouns are: heeEEE/Ya.

I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.