My jokes

I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.

AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!

"hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" That's what my friend said when he gave an EpiPen. I don't know why, though.

I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I'm a flamingo...

Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?

A: Do these genes make my butt look fat? 💩

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were just texting.

Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because I unplugged his life support to charge my phone.

I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"

Why does my mum eat carrots?

My name is Gunter.

Gunter Gunter is dead.

Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D

Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.

Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead, so are you.

(I have no friends because all of my friends play Fortgay, just like my friends all of them are gay.)

Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.

What is the difference between onions and my dead grandma?

I cried when I cut up the onions.

POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.

The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."

Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.

I told my fam a joke.

They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"

My grandpa died in 9/11.

He was the best pilot.

My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.

So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.

In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.

My dad was a great pilot...

He died in 9/11.