My jokes
I hate when my father doesn't cook me cocktails for tea.
My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.
A lot of the time he will take things for granite.
A lot of counter-offers were made.
I go 7u7. I said I go 7u7. Get Rick and rolled, my son.
"I want to kill my family."
-realizes-
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.
Not screaming like her passengers.
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
My life. BAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHHA
Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.
What’s up with the foot feet?
What is the plural of "goose"? "Geese."
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ant meese.
Well, it’s my first joke. Please forgive me if it’s bad.
My mom calls me.
Me: WHAT MOM?
No answer.
Me: WHAT?
What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?
Not my problem.
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
What is my favorite color? Yellow.
I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.
I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"
Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
Cancer doesn't leave.
I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?
Me: Knock knock.
My sister: Who's there?
Me: I eat mop.
My sister: I eat mop who?
My mind: I eat my poo.
My sister getting it.
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"