My Jokes

Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?

A morbid joke would be what's going on in my mind.

Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."

Hey.

Girl: Hey.

Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.

Girl: What?

It says "spray on flat surfaces."

I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.

MY 4 little kittens

The image displays four kittens huddled together. One kitten is black and blends in with the dark background, two tabby kittens are visible, and the fourth kitten is partially hidden behind the others. Text written on the image is '4 Kittys'.

I put on my hazmat suit, and grabbed my equipment, and said, "My time to shine!"

My dad died during 9/11, he was the best pilot in all Saudi Arabia.

Talking about planets with my nephew.

He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.

So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.

No joke. I just want to say that my thoughts are with the Ukrainian people, and I wish them the best. Best of luck.

My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.

My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.

I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.

That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!