My jokes
My jacket tore a little bit. It's a ripper.
Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new đź’•.
My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."
So I said, "Okay."
My god, my egg jokes are eggcellent!
I still remember my granddad's last words,
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
Memes
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.
What's the difference between me and my best friends?
At least one of us has a house.
She’s so therapeutic.
When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!
What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
Celebrating Mother's Day is confusing, says my cousin.