What does PEMDAS stand for?
Penis enters my dad and sister.
My Jokes
My dad left me.
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.
Hey girl, are you a wizard? Because you cast lit in my Final Fantasy!
I got mad at my sister's boyfriend, so I fucked his girl.
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."
My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.
My mom said that I don't listen to homophones, but then I said, "No, I listen to headphones."
My mom walks in a bar and the bartender says "water?" saying "we only sell beer!"
Want to hear my pencil joke? Wait, I'm still writing it.
Bippity Boppity, I'm gonna shoot you off my property!
Why does my mum eat carrots?
People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.
There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.
So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.
At my sample place, I handed my wife a fork and I lost my job.
Son - Dad, I've been expelled from school for having sex with a girl in my class.
Dad - Son, that's the 2nd school this year! Maybe teaching isn't for you!
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.
