My jokes
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
My dad is like a unicorn.
He's never here. :c
A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."
Spread my legs like butter n finger me hard. 👅👅👅
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.
(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)
I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"
Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.
Don't touch my bot.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Penis enters my dad and sister.
My dad left me.
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.
Hey girl, are you a wizard? Because you cast lit in my Final Fantasy!
I got mad at my sister's boyfriend, so I fucked his girl.
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."