My jokes

What's the difference between cancer and my dad?

Cancer is still here. 😂😂😅😅😐😐😪😪😥😥😭😭

I bought my friend a rope for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book ever.

My grandpa and your hairline go way back.

There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."

My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.

My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.

My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.

I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.

I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."

Yesterday I had a party in my basement.

I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!

My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.

How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not 343,646 because my basement is still as dark as yours.

I started crying when my dad was chopping onions.

Onions was such a good dog!

My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a PDF file!

I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.

My friend walked down the street and peed on a car.

I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.

I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.