My jokes
All-star gay mix
Somebody once told me The world is gonna rape me The dick's the hardest part of the body She looked like she's having fun With her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" in her bumhole.
Well, I started cumming And she started cumming Fed with dick, she's in love with bumming Didn't make sense not to live for bum Your dick gets hard, but your ass gets numb.
So much to fuck, so much to suck So what's wrong with eating the asshole? You'll never know if you don't try You'll never taste if you don't lick.
Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a schlong, ass frail And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.
It's a gay place and they say it gets gayer You're licking bum now, wait 'til your a bit older But the bent boys beg to differ Judging by the hole in the homeless man's throat.
The sperm in the bath is getting pretty thin The sperms getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on cocaine, how about yours? That's the way I like it and I never get raped!
Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a willy, ass frale And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.
Dad: Son, you're adopted.
Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.
Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?
Wife: In a detective novel.
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
Shoutout to gil44200ns for commenting on my post!
I was making sandcastles with my Nan, then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.
Shout out to johnny4488 for commenting on my last post!
I sleep in a castle once every 2 weeks.
It's my fort knight.
Slob on my knob.
My teacher: Oliver will be transitioning.
Me: tRaNsItIoNiNg!!!!
My teacher: He will be transitioning from primary school to secondary school.
Me: I thought you meant another transitioning...
Rape jokes are not funny.
Look at my name by the way😁.
Once I got out of bed, my butt hurt afterward.
Lick my BALLS!
A man goes into Heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa’s clock, it has never moved because she has never lied."
"There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice."
"Where is Donald Trump’s?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
Mom told me drugs are my enemies.
Jesus said to like your enemies.
Yay, I can like drugs then!
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.
Five years later, he came back and left again.
My Dad went for some milk. He never came back :)
Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.