My jokes
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
Shoutout to gil44200ns for commenting on my post!
I was making sandcastles with my Nan, then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.
Shout out to johnny4488 for commenting on my last post!
I sleep in a castle once every 2 weeks.
It's my fort knight.
Slob on my knob.
My teacher: Oliver will be transitioning.
Me: tRaNsItIoNiNg!!!!
My teacher: He will be transitioning from primary school to secondary school.
Me: I thought you meant another transitioning...
Rape jokes are not funny.
Look at my name by the way😁.
Once I got out of bed, my butt hurt afterward.
Lick my BALLS!
A man goes into Heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa’s clock, it has never moved because she has never lied."
"There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice."
"Where is Donald Trump’s?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
Mom told me drugs are my enemies.
Jesus said to like your enemies.
Yay, I can like drugs then!
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.
Five years later, he came back and left again.
My Dad went for some milk. He never came back :)
Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
My favorite website.
Little Johnny asks a fireman, "Do you want to see my fire truck?"
So the fireman goes to look at it. Little Johnny tested it. "I got my hat in my fire truck."
So the fireman says, "Last night's alright, but why is it tied up to you wagging?" And he looks closer and sees the string is tied up in knots. He said, "That's nice all right, but why is it tied up to his nuts?"
The little Johnny said, "Well that's my son," and so he yanks on it.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.