New My Jokes - Page 21 - Worst Jokes Ever

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Like petals in the wind, My heart dances for you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your laughter's melody, Makes my world anew.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.

How do you make someone in Africa disappointed?

Sing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."

My grandpa was the goat, he killed Hitler! 🥳🥳🥳

So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!

Why can't an orphan be gay?

Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy". (My bad if this offended anyone.)

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!

Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!

What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?

The back of my hand.

Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...

My wife asked me to please quit singing "Wonderwall" in the shower.

I said, "Maybe."

What is the difference between onions and my dead grandma?

I cried when I cut up the onions.

My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2.

He never talks about it.

My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.

He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"

The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."

"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."

"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."

If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?

A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."

"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"