My jokes

Hi guys, the prankster is back!

I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...

When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!

Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!

My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.

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    • I thought of telling my teachers that I am transgender so I get to wear my AirPods in class.

    A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. "Eighteen," the Aussie says, sipping a beer. "She has to be Eighteen."

    Okay, the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl.

    "Wtf are you doing?" Aussie says?

    "You say this is okay," Muslim replied. "Fuck no, she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard," says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily.

    Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, "What is wrong with you mate?" asks Aussie.

    Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose 'a teen', 'a teen', I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!"

    Aussie: "Eighteen not 'a teen' you sick mongrel."

    Me: Yo wanna play 9/11?

    My Friend: What’s that?

    Me: It’s a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

    So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"

    My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it, but I'm not too worried. I think she is joking.

    My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.

    I was crying while my dad was cutting onions in the kitchen. Onions was such a good dog.

    I was watching my daughter play at the park. A woman came up to me and asked which one was mine. I said I was still choosing.

    Last time I ate a vegetable, I got banned from my sister's group home.

    I got raped by my therapist... now I know where the name comes from!

    I was wearing a mask and told the teacher I ate her vagina. She said what? I pulled my mask down and said, "No, I said I like your hyenas." Then a kid sees me do it, but he only heard the first part, so he goes up to the teach and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight." She said, "Pull your mask down," and he pulls his mask down and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight."