My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.
My Jokes
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.
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Dad: Where is my son?
Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.
Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?
Son: YES!
Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Are you my pantry? Because you look like a snack ;)
I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.
Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?
I would too if my name was Braille.
Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.
He was the best pilot in Arab.
My sister's friends are hilarious, like seriously, haha.
What's the difference between my mum and my dad?
My mum stayed.
I would tell you a joke about my dink, but it's too long.
Can you be my daddy? 🍌😘😉
This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.
I wonder where the bodies are?
My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.
Ohh my god, it's a dinosaur with a huge ass mothafuckin' noseeee!!!!
Hey everyone, I'm back because I'm sinking back towards depression because my sister is really being a bitch, and my parents always side with her, and the stress over online school is just getting overwhelming, and I'm seriously considering hanging myself to end it all because the pain is just... terrible, and I feel like I'm not worth life.
