I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.
My Jokes
"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.
My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?
Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D
Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?
Me: Call The Police Ka!!!
"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!
Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.
I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!
My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.
Anyone want to fuck? Cause my sisters are such cunts!
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.
Me in the middle of the night boiling water.
Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?
My brother: How?
Me: You boil the hell out of it.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.
Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?
