My jokes

Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?

A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.

Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.

Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!

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When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.