My jokes

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

Yo mama so fat, she sat on my dick and broke it.

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;

Twin Towers are like my parents: 2 left and 1 came back.

I like my women the way I like my coffee, and I don't drink coffee.

Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till you're asleep to rape you.

Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.

A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."

Why did my foot cross the road?

Because your ass was on the other side.

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"

The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.

People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.

She can't see the obvious.

My orphan terrorist friend is on TV... I think he blew up.

I farted in my grandma's breathing machine.

My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.

My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.

My depression is depressed.

Hey guys, can we stop making these jokes? If my mom sees this, I will never see the sun again.

Oh . . .

:(

Continue.

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

Wheelchair soccer is just IRL Rocket League. Change my mind.