My jokes

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

Wheelchair soccer is just IRL Rocket League. Change my mind.

Me: "Hey, get my joke on that timeline."

Her: "No."

For my birthday on Sept. 11 this year, I just want a plane chocolate cake.

I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!

My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.

Can someone be my daddy?

I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him, "Where are your parents?"

Bad move, I got fired from my job at the Orphanage.

Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.

What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?

One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."

Why did the terrorists crash?

They were doing the job they loved but not getting paid.

Lol.

I wish I was dead like my jokes.

I think my dad loves jokes.

Because he laughs when he looks at me.

"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."

For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.

As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.

My uncle is an alchemist.

He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.

What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?

Panera Ned.

I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!

I will never forget my grandpa's last words, Hold the ladder!